Do I have to share?

I was asked recently if I had to share my erotica writing by someone who understood that it's a way for me to find some sexual release (once I have a fantasy written down, it's no longer in my head and I don't dwell on it).

I have to admit that I feel a little conflicted about it. I'm a spiritual person and this is definitely not spiritual writing and while it is a release for me, it might not exactly be a positive thing for others.

I used to just share my erotica for free on the web site Literotica but now I'm self published and get a little income from my writing, which makes it even more difficult NOT to share since there's a monetary reward for it now.

There's also the part of me, which is part of any writer or artist, to seek validation and how can I get validated for what I do if I don't share it?

What do you think?

Thoughts on my latest project

So, I'm outlining my new story and it's bringing up a lot of interesting questions about ethics and relationships. It's also making me think about ethics and the use of the technology. While most of my erotic writing is pretty straight forward "sex stories," this is the first of my erotic stories that is proving to be as intellectually stimulating as it is sexually stimulating. I can only hope that my readers feel the same way about it.

Behind the storytelling

I've got a friend who writes erotica and people often ask her if her sex life is as exciting as what she writes. She makes it clear to anyone who asks that she's pretty vanilla in the bedroom and I imagine that's the case with most erotic authors. That their imaginations go places that they rarely if ever go in real life.

I've shared some personal experiences on this blog that show that I can be pretty kinky in bed but I've also said that I write about things that I'll probably never do for real. As "hot" as my erotica can get, I feel that I need to come clean about something... I don't have an active sex-life. I am, for the most part, celibate. I do date and as I said in a previous post, I'm hoping to meet someone to marry but I'm trying my best to hold off on having sex until I am married. I haven't been successful at this since I have slept with a couple of women in my life with whom I've had some amazing and somewhat kinky sex but they have been few and far between.

Writing erotica is how I choose to release my sexual energy instead of actually having sex and it works quite well for me. I hope that my future spouse will understand this and hopefully she'll be willing to read my work so she has a better understanding of my sexuality and appreciation of my fantasies, just as I hope she'll share her fantasies with me. Perhaps we can write something together.

Thinking about Star Trek

Yeah, I'm kind of a nerd. I love science fiction which is probably why I'm eager to get started on my next erotica project—an erotic science fiction story—so much so that I'm going to offer a bit of a spoiler here.

No, my story is not going to be erotic Star Trek fan fiction—though I have read a story or two along those lines. But it is going to look at one of my favorite pieces of "Trechnology," the holodeck. While I'll need to come up with another name for it in my story, I've always thought—from the first time I saw it on the series—that if I had my own holodeck, I'd use it to get laid. Hey, I'm just being honest. I'd use it to fulfill every sexual urge and fantasy I've ever had and, let's face it, if the technology existed in real life, that would be a major market for it. Sure, the educational and entertainment potential of something like a holodeck would be fantastic and very useful but I'm pretty sure that the driving force behind any advancements in the technology would be headed up by the adult entertainment industry.

So, that's what I'll be exploring in my story, from the perspective of a married couple that wants to explore their sexual fantasies together with the help of new technology.

Some new stories

I've published a few short sequels in recent months. My horny muses have been hard at work. It's strange that every time I write an erotic story I feel like I've gotten it out of my system and that's it, there won't be any more... then my mind starts to wander and I get another idea... or two. But I have other non-erotica projects that I'm working on and I don't want to neglect them. And yet, one of these new erotica ideas is actually really intriguing in more than a sexual way. It's an erotic science fiction story about a married couple. We'll see what happens. Maybe I'll tackle it for NaNoWriMo.

Dirty vs. Really Dirty

A friend of mine read one of my stories recently and told me that the language wasn't very dirty. This surprised me. I thought it was very dirty. When I asked her for examples, she said that the characters could have called each other names.

I've never been too fond of name-calling. It seems mean to me.

My friend said that if the other person wants it, then it isn't mean.

True enough.

There are a couple moments here and there in my writing where one character might refer to herself as "a slut" or a dominating character will call their submissive a "bitch" but it isn't very pervasive.

I suppose it's possible I could write a story with a little more dirt in my dirty-talk. We shall see. :)

Finding Someone

I'm a single man living in a somewhat conservative community. I'd like to get married someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later as I'm already approaching middle age. I guess I'm worried that I won't be able to find someone who will accept the fact that I've written erotic fiction or that my erotica writing is basically an outlet for my sexual fantasies.

I'm certainly not the only erotica author who writes under a pseudonym. I've talked with other writers who live in communities similar to my own and it's very important that they keep their writing identities a secret. But I'm not one to keep secrets. At least not to the people that I care about. There are only a handful of friends of mine who are aware of my erotica writing and I want to be able to share it with someone that I love too. Not just the fact that I've written erotica but I hope that I'll be able to share it with her as well.

I think it's important that couples are open with each other about their sexuality, their fantasies and fetishes and I kinda like the idea of being able to say, "Hey, if you want to know what my fantasies are like, just read my blog and my erotica. It's all there."

As I date, I have to gauge who I think would be able to accept my erotica writing. This isn't easy. I don't come right out and say it, of course, but as I get to know different women, I can certainly figure out early on who might have a problem with it. I keep hoping that I'll find someone who not only won't have a problem with it but would be open to reading it and also sharing with me their own sexual fantasies in a fun and healthy way.

Sometimes I think that because of my erotica writing, I may have inadvertently isolated myself; adding a layer to my own persona that some women just won't be able to get past. But, then I consider the fact that as a storyteller and someone with a healthy sexual appetite and fantasy life, who wants to share said fantasies with the one I love, the only difference between me and anybody else is that I've written my fantasies down... okay, I sell them for others to enjoy as well. I suppose some women might have a problem with that too.

I really hope I find the one who'll just accept me... and soon.